


Subtitles

by anna_chronistic



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Anachronistic, Anachronistic Language, Angry Joly, Barius, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Canon Era, Comedy, Crack, Gen, I'm sorry for writing this, Jehan may or may not be from the future, Joly can't talk, Joly is done, M/M, Meta, Out of Character, Rated T for profanity, Screenplay/Script Format, This Is STUPID, everyone roasts Joly, like seriously, music references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-07 14:25:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11625447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anna_chronistic/pseuds/anna_chronistic
Summary: Joly is mad that he has to have subtitles even though all of the Amis are speaking the same language.  This was inspired by the "Barius is aborous" line in the book where Joly has a cold and no one understands what he's saying.I also got this idea from the movie trailer ofWhat Now?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyQe5xe1dU4#t=0m19s





	Subtitles

**Author's Note:**

> The subtitles are in bold. The actions are in italics.

At the Musain

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Marius: In my life, she has burst like the music of angels the light of the sun.

Enjolras (annoyed): Good grief. What is Pontmercy rambling about this time? Like hello, we've got a revolution to do.

Joly: Speaking of revolution, it is decidedly abbarent that Barius is aborous.

Courfeyrac: Um, what?

Joly: What I bean is that Pondmercy caddot pay attedtion durig beatings because he is in lub.

Bahorel: English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?

Combeferre: Actually, none of us speak English except Marius and Jehan.

Marius: I think Joly said something about beating me? Is that for real?

Bossuet: I have no idea. Can I get the subtitled version?

Joly: Wade a binute! Why the fuck would I deed subtitles if we all speak the sabe layguage? This isn't fair.

**Subtitles: Wait a minute! Why the fuck would I need subtitles if we all speak the same language? This isn't fair.**

Jehan: Because you're harder to understand than Shakira.

Enjolras: Who is that?

Jehan: Some musician that's really hard to understand.

Joly: This is such a cruel pradk. Somewud durn that shit off! Everywud dows that subtidals are oddly cool if they have that little bouncy ball.

**Subtitles: This is such a cruel prank. Someone turn that shit off! Everyone knows that subtitles are only cool if they have that little bouncy ball.**

Bahorel: Yeah but right now we don't have the budget for a subtitle ball.

Courfeyrac: But we're definitely keeping the subtitles. This is too funny.

Joly (sad): Whad's wrod with the way I talk?

**Subtitles: What's wrong with the way I talk?**

Feuilly: You need to enunciate. No one understands you.

Joly: False.

Combeferre: Then prove it. Say "only boring astronomers find gratification knowing mnemonics".

Joly: Oddly borig astrodomers fide gratificatiod towing demonics.

**Subtitles: Only boring astronomers find gratification knowing mnemonics.**

Jehan: You see, that's why you need subtitles. You completely changed the meaning of the sentence. It started off with astronomy and mnemonics, and now you're talking about towing demons. That makes no freaking sense.

Marius: Wait, what's towing?

Jehan: It's when you carry something on a tow truck.

Bossuet: What's a tow truck?

Jehan: I don't have any idea. I just made that up.

Joly: Cub on, Bo-way. Cad you help be turn off these subtidals?

**Subtitles: Come on, Bossuet. Can you help me turn off these subtitles?**

Jehan: Not if you sound like the lead singer of Green Day.

Bahorel: Speaking of green, that's totally not your color. You look like a leprechaun.

Joly: Doh!

**Subtitles: No!**

Jehan: What are you—Homer Simpson?

Feuilly: Who's Homer Simpson?

Jehan: Homer is the guy that wrote _The Odyssey_ , and Simpson is an English surname.

Enjolras (laughs): I have no idea what time period you're from, Jehan.

_Maruis, still thinking about Cosette, goes to Joly to ask for some dating advice_

Marius: Hey, Joly. You have a girlfrined, so I was wondering how you can get someone's father to like you?

Joly: yahhnabahhhnabiday yongnabadabhijay Aid no point sayig words. No one's listenig anyway.

**Subtitles: yahhnabahhhnabiday yongnabadabhijay Ain't no point saying words. No one's listening anyway.**

Bossuet: Don't worry, Jolllly. After this June Rebellion ordeal is done, your cold will go away and you'll no longer have subtitles. Your speech isn't even _that_ bad. Whoever put the subtitles here is exaggerating just to fuck with you.

Joly: I'm bad, I'm bad. Really really bad.

**Subtitles: I'm mad, I'm mad. Really really mad.**

Bossuet: Why is that?

Joly: Because I hade beig the token sickly derd. I'b such a loser.

**Subtitles: Because I hate being the token sickly nerd. I'm such a loser.**

Bossuet: Don't worry. Most people here are tokens. Especially Marius.

_Grantaire staggers in the Musain, inebriated._

Bossuet: And Grantaire.

Grantaire: Pitchfork point better pass me the joint gotta twist this beat I'ma sprain my joint. Straight crack rock, ball till I pop pop pull my trigger rap city no tigga yeah shorty do it illa I'm raw no digga what's my motherfucking name it's Iggy not Jigga.

**Subtitles: I'm with you, Joly. You're not the only one with subtitles. 'Cause no one can understand you when you're heavily drinking. Also, I'm drunk.**

bouncy ball: *bounces on Grantaire's subtitles*

Joly: No fair, Grantaire gets to have a bouncy ball? And all of a sudden I can talk normal now, just as soon as the bouncy ball is available? Fuck this shit. I'm out!

**Author's Note:**

> Grantaire's line comes from the song D.R.U.G.S by Iggy Azalea.
> 
>  
> 
> <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeBc17XeSwM>


End file.
